CheekyShit

Episode 13: Louis Sinks the Sub

1. --------: 5:03 PM
2. --------: RickDickens77 is now online
3. RickDickens77: Lou
4. LouisTheCat: hey rick you made it
5. RickDickens77: Yup we made it
6. RickDickens77: Got to the hotel, started to unpack
7. RickDickens77: And guess what we found
8. LouisTheCat: what
9. RickDickens77: SHUT UP
10. RickDickens77: YOU KNOW WHAT WE FOUND
11. LouisTheCat: lol yeah
12. LouisTheCat: youre welcome
13. RickDickens77: I didn't thank you
14. RickDickens77: I'm pretty steamed this time Lou
15. LouisTheCat: woah woah woah
16. LouisTheCat: thats no way to react to a thoughtful gift
17. RickDickens77: We can probably get the clothes washed
18. RickDickens77: But the luggage is ruined.
19. LouisTheCat: well pardon me for trying to give you something to remember me by
20. RickDickens77: Urine? Really?
21. LouisTheCat: what else do i have rick
22. LouisTheCat: its not like i know how to take and print a photo
23. LouisTheCat: actually thats not true i probably could have figured that out
24. RickDickens77: You are a tremendous jerk.
25. LouisTheCat: my bad
26. LouisTheCat: but think about this rick
27. LouisTheCat: when you packed that bag
28. LouisTheCat: how long were you away from it between packing it and zipping it up
29. RickDickens77: I don't know, a minute maybe.
30. LouisTheCat: i dont know what that means but it wasnt very long
31. LouisTheCat: and did you smell it
32. RickDickens77: Of course not, I would have done something.
33. LouisTheCat: exactly
34. RickDickens77: What's your point
35. LouisTheCat: think about the effort in timing that right
36. LouisTheCat: it takes research rick
37. LouisTheCat: i had to know exactly when to sneak in there
38. LouisTheCat: do the business
39. LouisTheCat: and get out
40. RickDickens77: Am I supposed to appreciate that?
41. RickDickens77: Am I supposed to go OH THANKS FOR TRYING SO HARD TO PEE ON MY CLOTHES LOU
42. LouisTheCat: if you had a tiny shred of a soul maybe
43. RickDickens77: Guess I don't then, because I'm just not seeing the upside.
44. LouisTheCat: you disappoint me rick
45. RickDickens77: YOU disappoint ME.
46. RickDickens77: Emily's bag is a disaster too
47. RickDickens77: She didn't even bring it inside at the house!
48. LouisTheCat: im an artist rick
49. RickDickens77: You're a menace.
50. --------: 5:53 PM
51. RickDickens77: We're going to dinner. I'll deal with you later. Has Heike shown up yet?
52. LouisTheCat: what is a heike
53. RickDickens77: I told you about the cat sitter.
54. LouisTheCat: and i told you i didnt need a sitter
55. RickDickens77: I know, and yet here we are.
56. RickDickens77: I asked her to start tomorrow, but she was going to come by this evening to spend a little time getting to know you.
57. LouisTheCat: well i look forward to it
58. RickDickens77: Please be nice.
59. LouisTheCat: no seriously i cant wait
60. LouisTheCat: we can play some games
61. LouisTheCat: talk about boys
62. LouisTheCat: ill make us some snacks
63. RickDickens77: Remember she's just helping to take care of you.
64. LouisTheCat: taking care of me is your job
65. RickDickens77: It's one of my jobs, yes
66. RickDickens77: Unfortunately, my other job has me far away, so I can't do that job.
67. RickDickens77: That's why I'm paying Heike.
68. LouisTheCat: how much are you paying her
69. RickDickens77: Doesn't matter. Gotta go.
70. LouisTheCat: ah
71. LouisTheCat: silent auction
72. LouisTheCat: gotcha
73. --------: 7:45 PM
74. RickDickens77: How's it going Lou
75. RickDickens77: Lou
76. --------: 8:06 PM
77. LouisTheCat: rick this lady is nuts
78. LouisTheCat: i dont understand a word she says
79. RickDickens77: Oh, yeah- she's German so she might sound funny to you
80. LouisTheCat: this isnt funny its terrifying
81. LouisTheCat: and wtf is german
82. RickDickens77: From Germany. The country.
83. RickDickens77: She knows English, she just probably doesn't think it matters to you.
84. LouisTheCat: it matters
85. LouisTheCat: i got this nutbag running around my house
86. LouisTheCat: chasing me with a feather on a stick
87. LouisTheCat: going bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap like its words but its not words rick
88. LouisTheCat: its not words at all
89. RickDickens77: It's just a different language. Try to hang out with her, she wants to play.
90. --------: 8:48 PM
91. LouisTheCat: rick
92. LouisTheCat: rick
93. LouisTheCat: rick
94. LouisTheCat: rick
95. LouisTheCat: rick
96. --------: 9:06 PM
97. RickDickens77: What's up
98. RickDickens77: I'm getting ready for bed
99. LouisTheCat: rick
100. LouisTheCat: i think heike is dead rick
101. RickDickens77: What?
102. LouisTheCat: rick shes dead
103. LouisTheCat: its awful rick
104. LouisTheCat: shes not moving in there
105. RickDickens77: Woah, woah, woah
106. RickDickens77: slow down and tell me what happened
107. RickDickens77: I can call for help.
108. LouisTheCat: ok so i was in the pantry right
109. LouisTheCat: showing heike where the treats are
110. LouisTheCat: and shes all bap bap bap bap bap bap bap
111. LouisTheCat: i dont know
112. LouisTheCat: like baby talk or something
113. RickDickens77: Get to the part where she dies, please.
114. LouisTheCat: so im like ok lets find some common ground right
115. LouisTheCat: so i try playing that game you like
116. RickDickens77: Catch The Giant Breakable Thing?
117. RickDickens77: I hate that game.
118. LouisTheCat: then why do you keep playing
119. RickDickens77: Think about my choices, Lou.
120. RickDickens77: anyway, go
121. RickDickens77: what happened.
122. LouisTheCat: well she sucks at it
123. LouisTheCat: thats what happened
124. RickDickens77: Ugh.
125. RickDickens77: I'm calling 911
126. LouisTheCat: wait
127. LouisTheCat: i hear her
128. LouisTheCat: yeah shes talking
129. LouisTheCat: hang on
130. RickDickens77: Is she ok?
131. LouisTheCat: i dont know that she was ever ok rick
132. LouisTheCat: she seems the same as before if thats what you mean
133. RickDickens77: Ok I'm calling her
134. LouisTheCat: well now i dont think thats quite necessary
135. RickDickens77: Too late, it's ringing.
136. LouisTheCat: she left already you dont need to do that
137. RickDickens77: I just want to make sure she's ok.
138. LouisTheCat: shes driving away i can see her
139. RickDickens77: Quiet.
140. --------: 9:28 PM
141. RickDickens77: Ok, so guess what, you got your wish.
142. LouisTheCat: i didnt want this rick
143. RickDickens77: No sitter? That's not what you wanted?
144. LouisTheCat: ok so technically i wanted that
145. RickDickens77: Yeah. Well you got it.
146. RickDickens77: You should be ashamed of yourself.
147. LouisTheCat: i was just playing a game rick
148. RickDickens77: Several games, it sounds like.
149. RickDickens77: Shred The Purse.
150. RickDickens77: Pee On The Shoes And Coat, always a classic.
151. RickDickens77: Ride The Hair, that's new!
152. LouisTheCat: its the curls
153. LouisTheCat: irresistible
154. RickDickens77: So I'm stuck paying for a purse, a coat, a pair of shoes, a trip to the hair salon and probably an ER bill
155. RickDickens77: And she didn't want to go into this one, but I'm also buying her a new bra.
156. LouisTheCat: we had a moment
157. RickDickens77: Apparently.
158. LouisTheCat: did she mention the umbrella
159. RickDickens77: She did not.
160. LouisTheCat: give it time
161. RickDickens77: Needless to say, I am annoyed.
162. LouisTheCat: im sorry rick
163. RickDickens77: No you're not.
164. RickDickens77: We'll discuss it when I get home. I'm going to bed.
165. LouisTheCat: seems early
166. RickDickens77: Emily wants me to get off the computer, and I don't intend to explain time zones to you.
167. LouisTheCat: oh i get it
168. LouisTheCat: adult time
169. LouisTheCat: hey why does she get to go with you and i dont
170. RickDickens77: Tell you what, I'm going to go to sleep now, and you can spend the rest of my trip figuring that out for yourself.
171. LouisTheCat: rick
172. LouisTheCat: rick
173. LouisTheCat: rick
174. LouisTheCat: rick
175. RickDickens77: WHAT
176. LouisTheCat: im lonely
177. --------: RickDickens77 has gone offline